Q & A

If I asked you to come up with some questions to ask your partner before you tie the knot, what would you say?

Marriage is a big step in anyone’s language. Sometimes, what you may consider inconsequential, could be a deal breaker for someone else. It may not be until you’re faced with a specific set of circumstances that you discover how your partner really feels about a particular topic.

The following questions are in no particular order, but may provide food for thought when planning your future life together:

1. Would you be prepared to move away from family and friends for a new opportunity or a fresh start?
2. How many children would you, ideally, like to have?
3. Would not being able to have children be a deal breaker for you?
4. Does your family have a significant medical history that could affect you or any children we may have?
5. What are your thoughts about division of work for our family? 50/50? One looks after the garden/maintenance and the other looks after the general household tasks? Something else?
6. Where would you like to be financially in, say, 5 or 10 years time?
7. What steps would you take to set yourself up to be financially comfortable?
8. What are your religious beliefs, if any and would you expect to bring up your children with a particular faith?
9. What things are you looking to improve about yourself?
10. What things are you looking to improve about your day-to-day life?
11. What things do you think I should work on improving about myself?
12. Where can you see yourself (working, living etc.) in 5 or 10 years time?
13. How often do you think we should plan time for fun and romance in our relationship?
14. What, for you, are the key family values necessary for a successful relationship?
15. What did you learn from past relationships that you would or would not bring to ours?
16. Would you be prepared to seek counselling if we encountered problems in our marriage that were too big for us to resolve?
17. How important is trust to you?
18. What are your thoughts about family gatherings such as at Christmas time? Take it in turns with each family? See both families at different times of the day? Do our own thing?

Communication

There are, naturally, many more questions that could be asked, depending on your own particular circumstances. One of the keys to a successful marriage is communication. Of course, even when you read the signs correctly, you may not always be on the same page. As in any partnership, it’s likely that compromise will come into play.

For a marriage to be successful, you need to know what’s important to you, what’s important to your partner and how you can achieve, independently and together, much of what you desire along the way.

037 – 31/01/2017

© Lindy Cooke Celebrant